I really wish god gives me death

I’m so sorry for bringing up death; I never even wanted to, but whenever something bad happens in my life, all I want to do is pass away because no matter how much I cry or pray, nothing seems to improve. What should I do? I’ve already done all in my power to help us, and my father — who was adamantly pushing everyone to say no — has even asked your dad subtly for our rista. What else can I do? I’m not even getting papu.

I couldn’t stop crying after you said that your mother asked one panditji about you, so as soon as I got back to my room, I called all of my friends and asked them to recommend the greatest astrologer. I was unable to wait patiently, so I called that love with astrologer wala panditji from YouTube. He promised to perform some poojas to make ours happen and is charging $11,000 for that pooja, but I felt that you should first try at home. What if you spoke up strongly this time and what happened? I firmly believe that if you put forth the effort, this will happen, but you are afraid to even try papu because of your previous failures

If you don’t pass your examinations, do you just give up on trying to become a doctor? Of course not, won’t you? Instead, you’ll work incredibly hard in school and improve your writing this time, right? You will keep failing in this situation, but it won’t be over until you give up. I want you to persevere until the very end because you’ve had plenty of opportunities to talk to us at home while my parents have been forcing and fixing mine. Please papu, I really want to call you and demand that you take action for us, but I can’t because your phone is blocked, and now I’m completely broken and unsure of what to do. I want to end my life, but before I do, I think, “Why not try again and again?” I can’t stand this pain; why is God causing me such suffering? I can’t stop crying; my head hurts too much, and there’s nothing else I can do but write this blog.